Posts tagged ‘pregnant’
Snookie Is Pregnant
For the past 3 years it has been expected that somehow, some persistent sperm would have made it’s way through the hornets nest that is Snookie’s womb and attached itself to an egg creating demon spawn but this wasn’t realized until just recently when Snookie was seen wearing baggy clothes and looking unsightly fat. Ok, [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Getting Paid $3 Million By Weight Watchers
Weight Watchers is paying Jessica Simpson over $3 million for a campaign featuring her weight loss after the birth of her first child. This appears to be stupid for 2 reasons. First, every woman loses weight after child birth, it’s called a baby. And second, all they are doing is finding previously anorexic women who [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Huge
Now I know it’s nothing new for women to use their pregnancy as an excuse to eat chocolate ice cream and nachos 5 meals a day, but Jessica Simpson was doing this before she was pregnant and now that there is a baby over that layer of fat, her stomach has been accentuated into something [...]
Justin Bieber Took The Paternity Test
As if his hair style and overall appearance weren’t test enough, Justin Bieber finally took the paternity test for Mariah Yeater’s bastard baby to put the rumors to rest once and for all. The downfall, of course, is that by doing so he gives credence to anyone in the future to have to prove himself [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Hungry
Now that she is pregnant, Jessica Simpson finds it socially appropriate to talk about her eating habits. She claims to now have odd cravings due to the pregnancy like how she can’t stand pizza anymore (obviously a lie) and how she likes cantaloupe. Massive amounts of cantaloupe. By “cantaloupe” I’m assuming she means double stuffed [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant
In something that I’ve assumed for the past 4 years but has just now been confirmed, Jessica Simpson is pregnant. For once she can use the excuse that something other than the massive amounts of food being shoveled into her mouth at any given moment is causing her to gain weight. Like all good news, [...]
