Posts tagged ‘ncaa’
As It Turns Out Virginia Commonwealth University Has A Basketball Team
There are only 4 states in the country that are deemed “commonwealths.” Massachusetts, Virginia, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania apprise of the total conglomerate of commonwealths within the US. A commonwealth is defined as:
Remaining Boise State Opponents Looking Forward To Being Overlooked
BOISE, ID – The Boise State Broncos kicked off their 2010 college football schedule last week against the Virginia Tech Hokies, and, as many thought, the game was just about as good as hyped going down to the wire with a last second touchdown to seal the win for the cinderella Broncos football team. The [...]
Colored Kid From Mid Major College Living Dream of Playing in Final Four
INDIANAPOLIS – Gordon Hayward, a forward for the Butler University Bulldogs, will be playing in the school’s first ever final four this weekend, something that, from the color of his skin, you would have never thought possible. A total reclamation project; a certain ingénue, defeating the odds to his eventual arrival in the unlikeliest of [...]
Kentucky Players Confused by Players Lining Up and Referee Handing Them The Ball for An Uncontested Shot
DAYTON – The favorite to win the NCAA Championships this year, the University of Kentucky Wildcats, were defeated last Saturday against West Virginia. The game, coming down to just a few points, was wildly segregated from a foul line differential that saw the Mountaineers go 19-25 while Kentucky shot just 12-27. The Wildcats, coached by [...]
University of Connecticut Women Win Record 76th Straight Game
Coach Geno Auriemma and the gang have once again reached the final four in this year’s women’s NCAA bracket, their 8th time in the past 10 years, garnering a 76 gamewin streak in the process. The Lady Huskies, easily the most dominant in the history of the game, have not only won each game the [...]
Autistic Teen Picks Perfect Bracket
CHICAGO – 17 year Chicago native, Alex Herman, has correctly picked the first two rounds of this year’s NCAA tournament, a 1 in 35,000,000 feat according to odds makers in Vegas. It seems people are crushed when their kids are diagnosed with autism yet everywhere I turn these kids are doing the unthinkable. Instead of [...]
Team With Several Good Losses Being Picked to Actually Win Games
ITHACA, NY – The Cornell men’s basketball program is seeded 12th in the upcoming NCAA basketball tournament, their highest seed in almost 50 years, and many analysts and experts have them going as far as the sweet 16, beating Temple and an undetermined second round team. The basis for most of the banter for choosing [...]
Erin Andrews’ Stalker Sentenced To Binocular Observation Only
STAMFORD, CT – Michael David Barrett, the man convicted of stalking ESPN’s Erin Andrews, was recently sentenced to 30 months behind bars for taking low-budget films of her changing without her knowledge. Apparently, ESPN has been putting their employees up in bed and breakfasts at every stop considering each of the movies were shot through [...]
Michigan Players Are Pussies
The NCAA ruled today that the Michigan football program broke violations for keeping their players in practice too long during the off season. The ruling, coming off complaints from guys who probably never play and are most likely white, may cost the team some scholarships next year. Meanwhile, a similar suit has been filed against [...]
University of Kentucky to Offer PG John Wall Two Year Contract Extension
LEXINGTON – In the midst of an outstanding freshman year, the University of Kentucky has unofficially stated interest in retaining the services of John Wall for at least another two seasons, according to a report from ESPN’s Jeremy Schaap. Wall, currently under a one year contract with the university, has shown interest in remaining with [...]
