Posts tagged ‘nba’
The NBA Is Back On
The NBA kicked off the holiday weekend by ending their 149 day lockout. I met someone who cared about this lockout once. I was lost and walking down Martin Luther King Blvd when I bumped into a homeless person in a Stephon Marbury jersey. Oddly enough he was claiming to be Kobe Bryant’s dad. After [...]
ESPN Halts All Sporting Events Until It Is Done Talking About LeBron
From the breaking news that LeBron James was holding a self indulged, ego-maniacal press conference to pronounce who was lucky enough to obtain his services, ESPN has been on an all-out onslaught to discuss where he will land. The speculation was much detailed on ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN News and any other halfsy ESPN network that [...]
LeBron James Shuns American Basketball; Signs With Barcelona Flame
GREENWICH, CT – Hours before holding his self indulged press conference, Lebron James signs with the Barcelona Flame out of the European Basketball League for an undisclosed amount, according to sources from within his circle. Citing his desire to travel the world and really enjoy the type of slow paced basketball Europeans play, James sees [...]
Washington Wizards Blow Lottery Pick on More Lottery Picks
WASHINGTON – When Abe Pollin ceded ownership to Ted Leonsis, the Washington Wizard’s franchise had lost places in the NBA lottery in 8 of the last 9 years, mirroring a winning percentage akin to the product on the basketball court. But that all changed during last week’s lottery result when Abe Pollin’s wife walked her [...]
Lebron James Signs Twenty Year Contract With Indiana Pacers
INDIANAPOLIS – Lebron James shocked the NBA today when he signed a 20 year agreement with the Indiana Pacers following a degrading defeat to a cryptically old Boston Celtics team. Oft anticipated to sign to large market teams like the Chicago Bulls or New York Knicks, James went with a more abstract choice in picking [...]
Golden State Warriors Vow to Not Hold Lead
OAKLAND – The Golden State Warriors, currently holding the NBA’s third worst record, have vowed to continue not holding leads, something fans have grown accustomed to witnessing throughout the year. The team, seemingly playing for extra lottery balls come this upcoming draft, has been known to get out to an early first half lead, then [...]
