Posts tagged ‘MLB’
Ozzie Guillen Just Got Traded
If this sounds like a headline from 1997, the last time Ozzie Guillen played in the majors, it should because he was just traded from the Chicago White Sox to the Florida Marlins. The only difference is that this time he was a manager and was traded to the only place with enough Latinos to [...]
George Steinbrenner Fires Failing Heart
In an unprecedented human move, George Steinbrenner fired his failing heart for what he calls “an abhorrent piece of shit that doesn’t perform like it use to.” The heart, pumping for 80 years, had artery blockage defending it from necessary blood flow according to his doctor’s reports. Upon hearing the news of the weak heart, [...]
Fans Excited To Watch Evan Meek, Martin Prado and Omar Infante…Wait This Is An All-Star Game???
The 6 Pittsburgh Pirates fans and friends and family of Atlanta Braves players quietly packed themselves into their seats in Anaheim, CA for last night’s All Star game. Excited to see the best players in the world compete at the highest level, everyone else was confused as to why names like Evan Meek and Martin [...]
Home Run Derby Participants Request Arizona Diamondbacks Pitchers During Contest
ANAHEIM – The All-Star festivities began last night in Anaheim as the Home Run Derby contest took place for 8 of the Majors top power hitters. By “top” I of course mean perennial studs like Chris Young, Corey Hart and Vernon Wells. Forget about Ryan Howard and Albert Pujols, I want to see guys named [...]
George Steinbrenner Dies
George Steinbrenner has died of an apparent heart attack at the age of 80. He leaves behind his two sons, Hank and Hal, and a family fortune of around $2 billion. Although most notably owning the New York Yankees for the past 27 years, fans can also remember him as a graduate assistant football coach [...]
Mark Teixeira Confirming With Bud Selig as To Whether Or Not The Season Has Actually Already Started
NEW YORK – Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira currently has correspondence with the commissioner’s office over whether or not teams have actually started playing baseball this early in the spring season. Teixeira, notorious for slumping early in the season can’t seem to grasp the concept behind playing this early in the year. “I still can’t [...]
Top 10 Fantasy Baseball Names
Because you are unoriginal and can’t think of them yourself:
People Surprised This Guy Did Cocaine
SURPRISE, AZ – A recent report indicating that Texas Rangers manager, Ron Washington, tested positive for cocaine during the season last year. The findings were found a shock to anyone without reasonable depth perception or ability to make out shapes in anything other than in polygonals. This guy, the guy pictured to my right, looks [...]
