Posts tagged ‘fat’
Jessica Simpson Is 170 Pounds…On The Moon Maybe
Anyone who can see Jessica Simpson now knows she’s obese. She was just on the Ellen Degeneres show where she claimed that she was 170 pounds. Now I would think this really fat for her after watching “Dukes of Hazard” but seeing her on the show just makes me think she’s a liar. I can [...]
Jennifer Lopez Is Frumpy
Happy New Year! I swore I would start the new year off happy and nice and then 5 seconds after I said that I saw Jennifer Lopez wearing haggard, skin colored clothes and not standing in that my-publicist-said-I-have-to-stand-this-way-so-as-to-hide-my-huge-ass-and-kankles pose. It’s shocking how when she is walking around like normal people and not posing in front of [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Getting Paid $3 Million By Weight Watchers
Weight Watchers is paying Jessica Simpson over $3 million for a campaign featuring her weight loss after the birth of her first child. This appears to be stupid for 2 reasons. First, every woman loses weight after child birth, it’s called a baby. And second, all they are doing is finding previously anorexic women who [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Huge
Now I know it’s nothing new for women to use their pregnancy as an excuse to eat chocolate ice cream and nachos 5 meals a day, but Jessica Simpson was doing this before she was pregnant and now that there is a baby over that layer of fat, her stomach has been accentuated into something [...]
Jessica Simpson Is Hungry
Now that she is pregnant, Jessica Simpson finds it socially appropriate to talk about her eating habits. She claims to now have odd cravings due to the pregnancy like how she can’t stand pizza anymore (obviously a lie) and how she likes cantaloupe. Massive amounts of cantaloupe. By “cantaloupe” I’m assuming she means double stuffed [...]
Chris Tucker Is Broke…Fat
Former celebrity and current outcast Chris Tucker (who must weigh over 4oo pounds now) is foreclosing on his $6 million home in Florida. Starring in such movies as Friday and Rush Hour, Tucker has gone into seclusion and done absolutely nothing but eat 6 steady meals a day since Rush Hour 6, meaning either he has [...]
