Posts tagged ‘ESPN’
Hey Look, It’s An Opportunist
Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine has been accused of molesting a 39-year-old man. If that may sound like a normal gay liaison, then that would make you a pervert because the accuser, who was 13 at the time, is just 26 years late in telling people about it. He is identified as Bobby Davis, and [...]
ESPN Has Breaking News
ESPN, which should be called E!SPN because of how they treat the sports world like a tabloid instead of focusing on actual sporting news, has new breaking news on the Jerry Sandusky-Penn State scandal. Scrolling their news ticker during Monday Night Football’s telecast, viewers were told that Jerry Sandusky “should not have showered with those [...]
Hank Williams, Jr. Compared Obama to Hitler
When famed progeny Hank Williams, Jr. went on the ‘Fox and Friends’ show, I’m sure people were thinking several superfluous thoughts simultaneously. First, why am I am watching ‘Fox and Friends’ and second what the hell is this dude about to talk about? Country singers have never been known for their censorship, so it came to [...]
ESPN/ABC Still Pretending Rest of the World Actually Gives A Shit About The Little League World Series
For the past month you have no doubt had ESPN and now ABC jamming highlights, statistics and recaps for the infamously boring Little League World Series. I’m not really sure who has told the programming directors that the rest of the world outside the immediate family of these players actually gives a shit, but headlines [...]
ESPN Halts All Sporting Events Until It Is Done Talking About LeBron
From the breaking news that LeBron James was holding a self indulged, ego-maniacal press conference to pronounce who was lucky enough to obtain his services, ESPN has been on an all-out onslaught to discuss where he will land. The speculation was much detailed on ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN News and any other halfsy ESPN network that [...]
Team With Several Good Losses Being Picked to Actually Win Games
ITHACA, NY – The Cornell men’s basketball program is seeded 12th in the upcoming NCAA basketball tournament, their highest seed in almost 50 years, and many analysts and experts have them going as far as the sweet 16, beating Temple and an undetermined second round team. The basis for most of the banter for choosing [...]
Erin Andrews’ Stalker Sentenced To Binocular Observation Only
STAMFORD, CT – Michael David Barrett, the man convicted of stalking ESPN’s Erin Andrews, was recently sentenced to 30 months behind bars for taking low-budget films of her changing without her knowledge. Apparently, ESPN has been putting their employees up in bed and breakfasts at every stop considering each of the movies were shot through [...]
