Posts tagged ‘divorce’
Heidi Klum and Seal Are Getting Divorce
In something that I’ve thought was a cruel joke all along, the gorgeous and amiable Heidi Klum is divorcing the wretched and evil Seal. Though maintaining a mostly extended happy relationship throughout their 7 year marriage, the two are splitting ways in what I image was a relatively short conversation regarding their mutual attraction. For [...]
Elin Nordegren Doesn’t Need Money
Around a year after settling her divorce with Tiger Woods for around $200 million, Elin Nordegren is leveling a $12 million house to build an even bigger mansion on the grounds. The answer as to why she is doing this appears to be two fold. First, it’s cheaper to level than to renovate, and second, [...]
Zooey Deschanel’s Lawyer Is An Idiot
Zooey Deschanel is divorcing husband Benjamin Gibbard and while the petition for divorce is typically public knowledge, the financial information is typically not. And by typically, I mean, you would have to be an absolute ass to do that. The paperwork filed indicated that Zooey makes over $95,000 per month and has monthly obligations of [...]
Katy Perry And Russell Brand Are Still Married
If I could put that entire title in italics and sarcastic quotations I would because although recognized by the state, these two are about as happy as 2 clams in warm, equatorial waters. That may not make sense to you, but if if you knew that clams prefer shallow, cooler waters then you would have [...]
Demi and Ashton Are Finally Getting Divorced
After several months of speculation Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are getting divorced. Jesus Christ was this charade still going on? It seems like years ago where I was reading about the whore who claimed she had unprotected sex with him. When you’re claiming you just slept with a married man, telling people the sex [...]
Jennifer Lopez Is Dating Again
Jennifer Lopez is reportedly dating 24 year old Casper Smart, another dancer on her tour. I say another tour because she married Chris Judd, a backup dancer for her “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” tour for about 3 months prior to marrying the ugliest guy on the face of this Earth. Lopez hasn’t been seen [...]
Kim Kardashian is Dumb: part 2
Kim Kardashian is now claiming that she didn’t make a penny on her wedding to what’s his name. ”Not one Indian nickel,” I’m sure that racist said. She, of course, is referring to the wedding that was broadcast on E!, the honeymoon that had pictures sold to US Magazine, the wedding photo’s sold to People, [...]
Kim Kardashian Is Dumb
After four weeks of blissful marriage, Kim Kardashian and what’s his name are supposedly getting divorced. As a principle, I try and make sure to not ever comment on soulless cunts, but I made an exception this time. The always reliable daily mail saw Kris without his wedding ring on and spoke to Kim’s cousin’s friend’s [...]
Demi and Ashton Are Getting Divorced
Another sign of the apocalypse shown itself this past weekend when it was revealed by the always trustworthy Star magazine that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are getting divorced. You know, if a thrice married 47-year-old and a male model who proudly professed the mountains of women he had sex with on The Howard Stern [...]
Larry King Files For Divorce
Sitting in at a ripe 102 years of age, Larry King has filed for divorce from his wife of 10 years. The divorce was King’s seventh and his wife’s third. The pair had two children together while also having about six other from various marriages, relationships, flings, and hookups that has left what must have [...]
