Archive for November, 2011
Herman Cain Is Starting To Rethink His Presidential Campaign
The GOP race is currently filled with retards who can barely talk, let alone complete coherent thoughts, so some saw Herman Cain, former chairman and CEO of Godfather Pizza and current black person, a front runner for the presidential ticket. That was of course until women started coming out of the woodworks like junior linebackers [...]
Patrice O’Neal Has Died
Patrice O’Neal, the almost famous comedian from all those VH1 shows like “I love the 80′s” and “I love the 70′s” and “I love the 90′s”, died today of complications from a stroke he had last month. I’m pretty sure he had diabetes too, so it’s really anybody’s guess what killed him. Fried chicken or [...]
Courtney Stodden Is…17?
Courtney Stodden, who you probably don’t know, but is that teenage girl who married Doug Hutchinson, who you also probably don’t know but is that actor from “The Green Mile,” you know, the real nasty guard who tortures Michael Clarke Duncan’s character, and is 51 years old marrying a 17 year old girl, went to [...]
Anne Hathaway Is Engaged
Someone who I have always thought was unmarryable is finally engaged to a guy who may or may not be Scott Caan. We’ll call him Adam Shulman for now, however. Anne Hathaway has always had this thing about her that screams clingy, crazy bitch. I don’t know if it’s her toothy smile or the fact [...]
The NBA Is Back On
The NBA kicked off the holiday weekend by ending their 149 day lockout. I met someone who cared about this lockout once. I was lost and walking down Martin Luther King Blvd when I bumped into a homeless person in a Stephon Marbury jersey. Oddly enough he was claiming to be Kobe Bryant’s dad. After [...]
Thomas Jane Used To Be A Homeless, Gay Prostitue
Thomas Jane, best known as “Ray Drecker” on HBO’s Hung, which is a trying tale about a down on his luck high school math teacher entering the prostitute world, has admitted to being a former gay prostitute. In what has to be the most poetic art portraying life I’ve ever seen, the show has caromed [...]
Mike Rowe Is Being Sued
Mike Rowe, who you probably don’t know but does those Levi’s and Ford truck commercials and was also the host of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel, is being sued by another guy named Mike Rowe for copyright infringement. Apparently the suing Mr. Rowe is in prison for a DUI and is constantly being ridiculed [...]
Joe Paterno Has Lung Cancer
In a strange turn of events, karma rears it’s ugly head and I’m looking at you Joe Paterno. The Penn State coach who now infamously did or did not say something about a member of his coaching staff raping little boys in his showers has now been diagnosed with lung cancer. Usually it takes at [...]
Justin Bieber Took The Paternity Test
As if his hair style and overall appearance weren’t test enough, Justin Bieber finally took the paternity test for Mariah Yeater’s bastard baby to put the rumors to rest once and for all. The downfall, of course, is that by doing so he gives credence to anyone in the future to have to prove himself [...]
Tom Cruise Still Has Non-Biological Kids
You wouldn’t know it by the way Tom and Katie parade Suri around but he still has those two kids he adopted when he was pretending to not be gay while married to Nicole Kidman. To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nicole Kidman with the kids either. I don’t know if it’s [...]
