Archive for March, 2011
Mariah Carey Must Be Giving Birth To Sextuplets
Mariah Carey, who must be around 22 months pregnant by now – I’m just guessing by the gestation period of other elephants – took to Twitter yesterday to post a picture of her gigantic stomach. I’m not sure if celebrities really understand Twitter, but she felt it necessary to scare the general public by showing [...]
Britney Spears Is Being Sued
It seems everyone these days is suing Britney Spears for pretty much anything. Her former bodyguard is suing her for trying to have sex with him – something she vehemently denies, and now, she is being sued by her former business partner for stealing something regarding her perfumes with Elizabeth Arden. I read this from [...]
George Clooney May Have To Testify In Berlusconi Trial
George Clooney may have to be a key witness in the high profile trial of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. The Prime Minister, who is 74, is being charged with hiring a Moroccan prostitute named Ruby who was only 17 at the time and then doing what politicians do which is try to cover it [...]
Christina Aguilera Has Intimate Photos For Sale
Christina Aguilera, who now looks like a fatter, more troll-like version of Snookie with a worse drinking habit, apparently left her camera in a hotel and now the photos stocked on the camera are up for sale. The pictures, featuring her performing fellatio on several different fruits and hugging people and bending over, are expected [...]
As It Turns Out Virginia Commonwealth University Has A Basketball Team
There are only 4 states in the country that are deemed “commonwealths.” Massachusetts, Virginia, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania apprise of the total conglomerate of commonwealths within the US. A commonwealth is defined as:
Lindsay Lohan Wants To Be Like Cher
In the fantasy land that is Lindsay Lohan, she has come to the conclusion that her last name is getting her into all of this trouble. Not the DUI. Not the cocaine bust. Not the the time she punched an orderly in rehab for trying to sneak back into the facility while drunk, thus breaking [...]
Chris Brown Is Tired Of There Bullshit
Chris Brown was on Good Morning America yesterday and was posed several questions, none of which had to do with his new upcoming album that will most likely suck. Each question Robin Roberts lobbed his way about him beating Rihanna to a pulp only caused him to respond about his new album. Apparently Brown has [...]
US Declares War On Bad War Names
Or maybe the war is against good war names…Anyways, the US has been controlling the air space over Libya for the past 3 days and has named the conflict Operation Odyssey Dawn but it mind as well have been called Operation Gay Porn as it sounds like something involving Richard Gere and gerbils and not [...]
Platoon
Platoon is an epic tale about a close-knit group of army veterans who wander off into the jungle and are lost and severed from the rest of the squadron. Left with nothing but their fists and a thirst for blood they embark on a journey to save themselves…from themselves. While alone in the jungle they [...]
NPR Axes CEO For Accidentally Mistaking Them As Not Bi-Partisan
For about the past 100 years NPR has been viewed as a liberal spewing media outlet relaying important news stories ranging from government assistance to the poor to lesbian abortions, but the top brass want to continue hiding the fact that the only thing they are conservative about is their usage [...]
